It’s only been over the last three of four years that I have had friendships physically dissolve in front of my eyes. Before then friends just drifted away to lead other lives in other places; not ending a friendship, just suspending it due to distance, and then time.
No, lately I’ve had friendships die in the arse because damaging situations – irreparable, or so I assume; I’m still not sure.
Every now and then I wonder if anything can be salvaged from the wreckage, or whether I just need to cut all cords for good and let the debris sink to the bottom of the dark and murky sea (to extend the metaphor too far).
How do you decide whether there’s anything left to hang a friendship on?
The closer someone is to me, the less I seem to be able to forgive them if they cross me. I know it should be the opposite, but I guess I just place too much of my sensitive self in the arms of my friends and lovers, meaning I’m hurt ten-fold if they do me wrong.
A bruise to the soul takes longer to heal.
I tend to shy away from show-downs unless I’m powered by aggression, and even then I would rather not let loose. I don’t like making people feel bad; it makes me too uncomfortable, even if they’re in the wrong.
Here’s a hint though: if you’ve wronged me, don’t wait for me to fix it. I’ll wait until the second coming and beyond before I’ll bring it up.
I don’t know. I thought starting this entry would bring everything into focus and I’d suddenly discover a solution. Perhaps I need to remember that people enter your lives to teach you something, and when the lesson’s finished, they leave.
