If, like me, you spent this weekend swimming in deliciously lovely music thanks to the JJJ Hottest100, you may be joining the nationwide head scratch on why out of 100 songs there were absolutely no female bands, and only one female guest singer (Teardrop by Massive Attack).
When I look over my votes, I only gave two votes to females, one being Teardrop. In theory that means I should be able to ask myself ‘why?’ and have an answer. Nope. No idea.
The interweb is buzzing with theories pulled from every crevice; every 2-bit blogger is tapping out a furious tirade or a shoulder-shrugging article on the subject. Some suggest it should be the focus of scientific study; others are making tag clouds out of the song list to see if they can spot a trend in the fluff.
Sounds like fun. Let’s go mad theory on this…
Theory number 1: Girl singers just need to be pretty. Boy singers need to neither be pretty, nor able to sing.
Shane MacGowan, Sid Vicious, Tom Waits, Lou Reed – no pin up boys there, and singing voices that aren’t exactly soothing to listen to; Lou Reed’s apparently tone deaf, for crying out loud. Still, I could listen to these guys all day.
The overly pretty, ‘marketable’ girls all hang out at the commercial stations: Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, P!nk, Rhianna… If I was forced to listen to these cut-out drones for any length of time I would off myself. Most JJJ listeners have turned to JJJ for the same reason, I surmise.
Theory number 2: Boys like singing along to boy singers, and so do girls, mostly.
Boys can belt it out to Rage Against the Machine, The Clash, Beastie Boys, and as a girl I can say my belting-out ability is pretty good too. Have you ever seen a guy trying to sing to Bjork or Kate Bush though? Doesn’t quite work.
Theory number 3: The Hottest100 list did include females, by proxy.
Take the two artists who scored the most votes at four a-piece: Thom Yorke in Radiohead, and Jeff Buckley – both with voices angels would approve of. Other girly-singing bands to make the list include Bon Iver, Coldplay, Smashing Pumpkins, Gotye, The Cure and Michael Jackson.
There is something about the sweet tones of Thom Yorke and Jeff Buckley that just makes me jellify. It’s like they’re singing to my ovaries and all I want to do is have their babies. To extrapolate, every female must think like that, right? It’s not just me… right?
Theory number 4: We all just forgot.
I know I did.
We all just forgot the rocker chicks like Blondie, Chrissy Amphlett and Chrissie Hynde; the far-out chicks like Bjork and Sia; the alternative chicks from Portishead, Goldfrapp and Fever Ray; the chicks that got the ball rolling like Janis Joplin and Nancy Sinatra.
Oh well, next decade maybe.
2 comments:
>Theory number 4: We all just forgot.
>
>I know I did.
So.... where is it written that there must be an equal, or even approximately equal, gender distribution?
I guess I mean: what is there to "forget"? Either you like the song, or you don't.
The gender of the singer is secondary to the matter, surely?
Yes, but surely there should be more than 2 singers AL.
I think the social perception of a good female singer requires much more talent than perception of a good male singer. (Because so many boys suck - sorry, but they do!)
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