There’s always someone worse off than you. Or, someone who’s gone through something worse than you.
I shouldn’t forget that.
When I’m wallowing in my own boohoo, I need to remember that.
So yeah, my boy broke up with me by phone while he was hundreds of kms away and not going to be back in civilisation for at least 2 weeks. Well, at least he didn’t break up with me by email after we’d been together for 3 years, as happened to a friend.
What is it with guys they think they can do this and get away with it? Cowards I say. Loudly.
Where did our sense of decorum go?
Technology has a lot to answer for. We can too easily hide behind it to do our unsavoury work.
It gives us an element of detachment with another human being; an electronic wall with which to hide behind.
And through wall’s chink, poor souls, they are content
To whisper.
A Midsummer Night’s Dream: William Shakespeare (or was it his wife?)
We are no longer taught how to face things, and technology provides us with such an easy ‘out’.
We can now form relationships online without the messy business of being in each other’s physical presence, more easily able to be dismissed. We can now end relationships online without the messy business of having to ‘talk it through’ or ‘reach a conclusion’. We can catch and release with ease.
Any time ‘Facebook’ or ‘Twitter’ enters a debate, there are always those loudly proclaiming that those using these kinds of human connecting devices need to ‘get a life’. There’s an element of truth to it, I have to say.
Just as I theorised that those with long distance relationships may seek such a life because of a fear of physical commitment, so too those who live lives too fully online may be hiding from something similar.
Technology is definitely changing the face of human relationships, in that it’s too easily getting rid of ‘the face’. I’m yet to see if it’s wholly for better or worse yet, but in the arena of sticky situations that need to be faced like a man, it is failing dismally.
The end, since I’m half cut.
4 comments:
I'm curious, though - in your own situation the boy wouldn't have been back for 2 weeks.
Are you saying that it would have been "better" for him to effectively string you along for those two weeks, having you potentially make plans and such for his return and then tell you after that?
i know.. still tossing that up. he had decided, so he thought it better to tell me as soon as he had decided (although even that took him a week), but there is still the element of being cut loose without the actual physical sensation of being cut loose. there's been no physical contact so it's not a fully formed breakup in my head, and still smacks of cowardice.
it's like i'm thinking he planned it that way so i would have a 2 week breather to get over my anger, so by the time he gets back to face the music, i'm already mostly over it. why? does he not want to deal with my anger? that has a little whiff of cowardice to it.
I agree with you lil! Cowardice. I do understand the other person's thought of well, isn't it better to know now, but you know he's home in two weeks. Especially after 3 years. (I speak from living through similar experience years back when a girlfriend did that to me.)
Well, that's my all too brief thought from the other side of the world... :)(poeticmindset)
Sometimes I agree with you Mel. I live too much of my life online and in stasis for something better. Trouble is, if I had met or discovered that something better, I would be there.
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