So for those of you playing along at home, one man left me because he wanted to become a monk but ended up having fun with pretty things all over the world before hooking up with the wife of a mate and playing mummies and daddies.
Current plaything doesn't want to be with me but he does but he doesn’t in a ‘cake and eating it’ situation.
Now another ex who left me because he wanted to earn money and climb rocks instead of loving me has hooked up with someone else. To be fair, maybe he’s still earning money, who knows. Right now I don’t give a fuck.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not denying anyone long term happiness just because they couldn’t find it with me, what I’m fucking pissed off about is being told “it’s not you it’s me” or “it’s not you it’s because of this”, when clearly it IS me if it keeps happening to me this way. Why don’t these guys just call it how it is? “I’m over playing with you and now I want to play with someone else”.
I’ve worked out my next tattoo: the word ‘defective’ stamped on my arse.
Over the weekend I went to a funeral of a mate I knew through another ex, so of course he was there along with a few other mates I know through him. One mate said something interesting when speaking about my ex (interesting in that it fucking pissed me off because I hear it over and over again): “you were the best thing for him, the best thing to happen to him”. I nearly decked him. I bit his head off in any case. He was also trying to hit on me so who knows, maybe that was his way of making me feel awesome. It jut made me feel like a piece of shit.
Why do I keep finding these boys who hook up with me only to think it’s not what they want, break it off, then realise it was what they wanted after all? Jesus Christ men, get it together. I’m sick of being the trial version.
2 comments:
Another way to look at it is: You must be a very loyal and caring person to continue to help all these emotionally weak men out of their doldrums and toward the outcomes they probably sought but didn't know they could actually achieve. You can't go unrewarded for ever.
From a math point of view each of these relationships has its own probability of success or failure seeing a pattern in them is natural but not necessarily the case.
yeah but the odds are kicking me in the arse.
for it to keep occurring means i'm not learning something. the world keeps pointing at it telling me to look, over there, look, can you see? and i'm just staring into space going, what? where? i don't see it. what am i meant to be looking at?
it sucketh.
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