pang

The games we play with each other drain me.

 

Why all the power plays? Why the hurt? We believe someone’s wounded us and we strive to wound them back. Why?

 

An unanswered call. His mind goes into overdrive: Why is she not answering? What’s she doing? Is she trying to get the upper hand in the relationship? Is she purposely making me wait around for her? I don’t like the waiting around feeling; being the one with no power. She’s discovered how much I actually yearn for her. I’ve been found out; heart laid bare.

 

I know: I’ll hurt her back. Feign indifference. Stop calling her. Make her wait. Make her think the rest of my life is suddenly much more interesting than the part with her in it. Make her feel like I couldn’t give a rats whether we chat or not; edge my voice with cold. Then I will have the power and she will be the one waiting, wondering, weaving stories in her head.

 

See how she likes that.

 

 

It’s so childish. It makes my heart hurt. I don’t like it. Stop it.